I flew out of Heathrow today. My flight went doors closed at 1005.
\nI thought it would be easy. Drag the red monster and roller bag to Paddington Station, jump on the Heathrow Express and chill in the Silver Kris lounge with some breakfast before my flight.
\nMy good mood sank as I arrived in Paddington and saw that the Star Alliance had in town check in at the station. Why did my mood sink? Because United doesn’t do this. They suck.
\nThe train ride to LHR was uneventful, meaning it was fine. Then I got to Heathrow. There’s one stop for Terminals 1-3 and a further for Terminal 4.
\nSignage is crap, meaning that you really need to hunt for a sign or ask someone. I found that UAL was in Terminal 3. Thus began the “Heathrow Death March”. 1\/4 mile later, I made it into the Terminal and checked in.
\nThen it’s another hike through Passport Control and their HUGE Duty Free shopping area. Since these are UK prices still despite claiming they’re “TAX FREE”, I passed through to get to the Club.
\nBy the time I got there it was about 0900. Check in on my Boarding Pass said 0920 so i wolfed down the fastest bowl of Honey Corn Flakes in my life and stuck my nose into the other lounges (future entry) before I saw on an monitor:
\n“Last Call”. WTF??
\nSo I’m outta there, heading for Gate 17. It’s pretty far and the UA people said “you need to be in the gate area 45 minutes before departure” and another said “we set the time early like that so everyone will get here”. Which story is it?
\nLong story short, even though I woke up at 0600 and budgeted enough time, the poor design of Heathrow which was “designed by a bunch of chimps” according to some nameless airline staffers, sucked what free time I had budgeted.
\nThe chimps need to be hit with a shoe.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I flew out of Heathrow today. My flight went doors closed at 1005. I thought it would be easy. Drag the red monster and roller bag to Paddington Station, jump on the Heathrow Express and chill in the Silver Kris lounge with some breakfast before my flight. My good mood sank as I arrived in … <\/p>\n